Losertown works. That is worth saying first, because most pages that rank for its name imply otherwise. On 17 September 2026 the calculator returned HTTP 200, the form submitted, and it produced a two-year weekly projection table — the same artifact people have been screenshotting since about 2012.
It is also not a weight-loss company. The calculator is one page on losertown.org, which describes itself as the official website of the band Anomie Train. There is no relationship between that site and this one.
What Losertown is
It asks for six things — sex, weight, the calories you plan to eat per day, age, height and an activity level — and returns a table with one row per week, running about two years forward from the day you run it. Each row gives a date, the weight it projects for that date, the calories needed to maintain that weight, and the gap between that and your stated intake.
It also prints a BMI-based healthy weight range for your height above the table.
The projection is not a straight line. Losertown recalculates maintenance calories at each new, lower weight, so the deficit shrinks as the table runs down the page. In the run we did on 17 September 2026 — a 200 lb, 5'10", 35-year-old man eating 1,800 kcal/day at the light-exercise activity level — the deficit started at about 739 kcal/day and had fallen to about 204 kcal/day by September 2028. That decay is more than most free calorie calculators bother to model.
Nothing on the visible page states what equation it uses. The page source contains an HTML comment naming the Mifflin-St Jeor resting energy expenditure equation — a comment, so no reader ever sees it.
What it does better than this site
- It is instant and asks for nothing. No account, no email, no cookie wall between you and the answer.
- The dated table is the right artifact. A calorie calculator that returns one number answers a question nobody asked; a calendar of dates and weights is something you can act on and come back to.
- It has been doing the same job, unchanged, for over a decade — the footer still reads 2012. Very few free calculators are still standing and still correct after that long.
- It does the thing most weight-loss calculators skip: it recomputes maintenance as your weight falls, instead of holding your starting TDEE constant forever.
Where it falls short
- It still converts calories into pounds at roughly 3,500 kcal per pound. Work backwards from its own output and the arithmetic is visible: in the run above, the week between the 191.56 lb and 190.18 lb rows carries a mean deficit of about 690 kcal/day, which over seven days is about 4,830 kcal for 1.38 lb — about 3,500 kcal per pound. Recalculating maintenance removes part of the error in that rule; it does not remove the rule.
- That matters because the 3,500 kcal rule is the specific thing modern energy-balance modelling was built to replace. The Lancet 2011 paper describing the dynamic model puts it directly: the rule "ignores dynamic physiological adaptations to altered body weight that lead to changes of both the resting metabolic rate as well as the energy cost of physical activity". The same paper reports that the bodyweight response to a change of energy intake is slow, with half times of about one year — so a table that reaches a target date in four months is projecting a weight most people will not be at on that date.
- It publishes no method. The Mifflin-St Jeor reference exists only in an HTML comment. There is no statement of what the model assumes, no citation a reader can follow, and no acknowledgement that the projection is a projection.
- It has no viewport meta tag. We checked the raw HTML of both the form and the results page on 17 September 2026: neither contains one, and the document is served as XHTML 1.1 with a fixed 960-pixel header. On a phone that renders at desktop width, zoomed out.
- The table runs about two years forward with no floor. It will project you past the healthy BMI range it printed at the top of the same page, and keep going.
Side by side
The 3,500 kcal per pound figure is derived from Losertown's own output, not quoted from it — the page states no model at all.
How this was checked
Loaded losertown.org/eats/cal.php and submitted its form on 17 September 2026, then read the returned projection table and the page source.
Everything on this page about Losertown describes what it was doing on September 17, 2026. Other people’s products change without telling us, so nothing here is repeated from a third party’s summary and nothing is left undated. If you find a claim that no longer holds, it is wrong and it will be fixed.
Losertown is not affiliated with FreePeptideCalc in any way. There is no partnership, endorsement or sponsorship in either direction, and the name is used here only to identify the tool being compared.
What this site offers instead
- Weight loss timeline calculator — The same dated forward projection, built on the dynamic model rather than the 3,500 kcal rule.
- How long semaglutide takes to work — If a GLP-1 is part of the plan, this is what the trials published about timing — and what they never did.